I am trying to break up with my perfectionistic ways.

If there’s one big takeaway from Thomas Curran’s book, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough, it’s that we are acculturated to believe that striving for perfection is noble. This is despite all evidence that perfection is a) subjective and b) impossible to achieve. We are chasing our tails, my friends. You might say this was the point of Good-ish from the start. Maybe surprisingly, I was slow to understand that being good-ish means accepting–even striving for–something that is kinda good.

Lately, all I can think about is all the moments in my life where I should have raised my hand and said, “I don’t understand. Or I’d like to learn more.” Instead of being okay with looking dumb, I failed myself over and over again. Sigh.

I am currently reading The New Happy by Stephanie Harrison. A throughline is letting go of the old version of happy, the one that includes striving to be perfect.

“The perfect self comes from Old Happy culture. Individualism says the perfect self is always strong and independent, handles everything by itself, and never feels difficult emotions.

Capitalism tells us the perfect self is successful, contributing to the economy, following the ‘right’ path in the “right way,’ and of course, is always productive.” (Stephanie Harrison, The New Happy, page 50)

So consider this your permission slip to go out there and be bad at stuff. Or good enough. Or good-ish. Don’t die with your gifts inside.

Stephanie Harrison is offering a free online book club for The New Happy. It started meeting last week but there’s still time to join: https://www.thenewhappy.com/bookclub.