Two friends contemplate the awe that is Mt. Hood

Space to breathe

I love the expression “breathing room.” It’s about making space for yourself expressed as a fundamental human need: breathing.

When we are overworked or overwhelmed, we instinctively try to create space in our lives to “catch our breath” (another great expression!) before we continue on.

I just finished Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by writer and therapist Lori Gottlieb. It’s a page-turning account of her life as a therapist and as a client. This is an excellent book for therapists, coaches, social workers, and all other humans.

I thought I knew what therapy was — just like I felt that I knew what coaching was before completing a coach training program. There’s a prevailing belief even among those in the know than therapy is about fixing you. But it’s not that at all.

Therapy and its cousin coaching are about giving you breathing room, the space to consider your life and the stories that you have created to make meaning of your existence. People seek therapy and coaching because they need to move to a new place in their lives, and they need a guide, someone familiar with the terrain who can support them on this journey to the unknown.

There’s a great piece by Heather Plett on “Holding Space,” a concept familiar to many coaches, but unfamiliar and downright foreign to others. The simplest explanation is to allow people to occupy a space without judgment or opinion. You just let them be who they are at that moment. This breathing room enables people to unlock everything that has been closed up tight, to relax, to consider other possibilities, to reconsider their stories, to accept their innate worth.

One of the most beautiful expressions of this is in Taylor Swift’s song Lover:

“And at every table, I’ll save you a seat.”

I tear up every time that I hear that line. It’s the ultimate expression of love and belonging. It’s holding space.

If you want to learn about therapy and how to create breathing room in your life, I encourage you to read Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. To find a therapist in your area, visit the Psychology Today website.

If you want to learn about coaching, check out this article from Positive Psychology: 30 Proven Benefits of Life Coaching & Mentoring.

You can also reach out to me or any coach to learn more. There are multiple directories of coaching practitioners online, and most coaches offer a free 30-minute introductory or discovery call.

Take the next step. Let someone hold space for you and give you room to breathe.


Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

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